Your Soulmate Is Not Someone Else’s Husband. Part 1

“Zainab, can you pass the sauce, please,” Sana asked as she reached out her hand to grab the bottle at the end of the table. I couldn’t believe how calm Sana was. Did she not realize she was breaking up a marriage? How could a woman sit relaxed and eat without a care knowing she is tearing apart a family? This was not how mom raised us to be.

Zayn our friend from H.S gave me a side eye with his head down in embarrassment fidgeting his fingers.I didn’t know if he was embarrassed by being caught red-handed or cheating on his wife.

My dad was so focused on the news he had no clue about what was happening around him. I didn’t plan on telling him either. It was only a few months since mom passed away and telling him about Sana and Zayn would cause him more pain.

“I should leave Noor must be waiting for my call.” Zayn said as he got up to wash his hands.

“YES! Right now your WIFE must be waiting.” I demanded. I had never felt this type of anger before. Sana ignored me as she shoved a whole meatball down her throat.

Boy if you don’t LEAVE

Was she going to act like nothing happened in the kitchen before dinner? How could my baby sister become so shameless?

Zayn left in a hurry closing the door behind him. Saying a quick good bye to my dad.

I grabbed Sana by the arm and dragged her up to my bedroom. Dropping my plate of food in the dining area.

“You are hurting me Zainab!”

I faced Sana towards me “You are doing the same to others but differently. Why were you kissing Zayn? Stop playing stupid I know what I saw.

Sana rolled her eyes. “I like him since H.S. I love him and he is my soul mate. Just because he is married doesn’t mean he loves his wife.

“Someone else’s husband cannot be your soulmate, Sana. How could you be so dumb to believe that? Zayn ignored you throughout H.S. and now that he is bored with his wife you are suddenly his soulmate. It’s absurd!”

He told me he will leave her. Their marriage has become toxic.”

Sana’s words felt like thorns pricked in my ear.

Did she fall on her head and lose all sense. How gullible could my sister be.

Men have been giving the same excuses yet we never learn.

Sana, Noor is pregnant. Please tell me You don’t believe that he loves you. I caught you two red-handed and Zayn didn’t even take a minute to run out that door. He didn’t even turn around to say bye to you. He is using you. And what you both are doing to Noor is wrong.”

“Noor is pregnant?” Sana seated down on the bed as tears rolled down her eyes.

“Yes, 3 months. She and Zayn have been trying for 2 years now. Noor is at her mom’s place because she is sick and needs someone to care for her while Zayn is at work. Zayn’s mom told Nani a week ago. How long has this been going on between you two?”

A few weeks. He told me Noor is staying over at her mom’s place for her cousin’s wedding.He lied to me this whole time.He told me they will divorce soon. I am going to call Noor and tell her everything.”

I snatched the phone out of her hand.

Break the Taboo, Period!

 Period Taboo

      Talking about period has always been taboo, mainly in the 3rd world countries. Women for years have been trying to end the shame associated with it while fighting to make sanitary products affordable. Taboo surrounding menstruation excludes women and girls from many aspects of social and cultural life. It’s time we get rid of the period taboo and have an open conversation with both genders about menstruation and how the female reproductive system works. 

    I remembered when I was thirteen and had suddenly gotten my period on my trip to India. There was an all-women gathering at my friend’s home, and I asked her for a pad. She looked at me in surprise and pulled me to the side. She took out two pads from her closet, wrapped them in a plastic bag, and handed them to me. I didn’t understand what I did that made her feel embarrassed. Why didn’t she want any of the ladies to notice she was giving me a pad. I later asked my mom, who explained that girls in developing countries are not supposed to talk about their period, especially in public. Even if it’s the 21st century, people still believe that menstruating women are impure and dirty. Girls are made to feel ashamed about getting their period and associate it with something negative. That indicates many young girls are not taught safe, hygienic practices or even about the reproductive system due to social shame. 

     I didn’t realize what a vast taboo it was in India until my dad went to pray in a mosque in Bombay, and my mom and I had to stand outside because there wasn’t a women section to pray. Muslim women in India are told to offer prayer at home because it’s assumed to be better for them. They are also not allowed to enter a mosque when menstruating. That is why most mosques don’t have a separate room for ladies to pray their Salah. Hindu women are also asked not to enter the temple during menses. 

    Superstitions about periods around the world

      Many of the elderly population in different countries believe that periods are a curse given to women and hold many superstitions. In India, women are not allowed in the kitchen of their own homes or touch anyone for several days until it passes. In places like Poland and Italy, menstruating women should not touch a flower or plant because it’s believed to die quicker. In Bolivia, you shouldn’t hold babies during the time of the month if you do it can cause them to get sick or die. As more people learn about the female reproductive system and myths, period superstitions are becoming a thing of the past. 

   How education is affected 

    Period taboo doesn’t just stop there. It also affects young girls’ education in India and other developing countries. About 23 million young girls drop out of school every year after their period begins due to the lack of awareness and the availability of appropriate menstrual hygiene products. Many young girls fear classmates would mock them if it stained their clothes. In H.S, teachers find it a delicate topic and avoid talking about it. When they try to discuss it with their students, there are looks of disgust and discomfort on their faces. In India, an H.S teacher stated, “we avoid talking about menstruation because we will then have to talk about sexual education. That is also a taboo topic that parents should discuss with their children, not us. If we talk about it, parents say we are trying to corrupt Indian culture.” 

Period poverty 

Countless women in India cannot afford sanitary napkins. Some females use old rags and cloths repeatedly, causing infections. There are also other countries like Kenya, where 65% of girls don’t have access to sanitary pads and tampons. Females suffering from period poverty resort to using leaves from trees, the insides of mattresses, socks, or even reusing dirty sanitary pads. Places in Nepal have huts away from home where women stay until their cycle is over. 

What we could do to help

Many foundations have been created to educate women and men about menstruating and end period poverty. Your donation can help a young girl continue her education and bring change.


Written By- Mubina C